I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
