WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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