Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
