first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
