they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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