the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
