u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
