just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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