You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
