Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
