just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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