I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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