I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found your dick twin last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
