You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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