Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
