Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't think brook has ever known best
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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