my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
