You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The beer is more important than you right now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
