would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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