we have pet lesbian snakes
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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