Sponge bath it is.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
