he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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