Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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