a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
