My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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