I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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