I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
