But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
