I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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