idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
