i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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