And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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