I'm so fucking centered right now
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
