We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
