Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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