playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
