i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
