I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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