i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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