You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
