I'm eating all of the evidence.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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