I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
