i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
