I accidentally had phone sex last night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
