OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
