My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
