You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
