dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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