hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
