So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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